The Season of Romance Wasteland by Sherry Daniels

7-year-old: “Mom, what is sex?”
 

Mom (thinking back through the last seven years, and finally, shrugging): “I have NO idea.”

Do any of these confessions sound familiar?

‘I can’t remember the last time we went on a date.’  

‘My husband and I seem more like roommates than a married couple.’

 ‘When I look at our bed, I don’t think ‘sex’, I think ‘how many more hours left before my head hits that pillow.’”

So here you are, with newly found time and energy, wondering how to reignite the spark you and your husband shared in the beginning. Awesome! Now what? 

PLAY TOGETHER: Literally. Go out and have fun! What were some of your favorite activities when you were dating? Perhaps:

v  Snow skiing, sledding

v  Hiking nature trails

v  Visiting flea markets

v  Bike rides

v  Competitive sports

v  People watching, bird watching

v  Fishing

v  Fly kites

v  Explore a city you haven’t been to

v  Go bowling, dancing, roller skating, golf

v  Go on a picnic

You get the idea. Couples tend to get so serious about the business of being grown-ups they forget to play together. Make a list together and plan weekly dates. (Even if getting out on a date is difficult, you can still make connection dates in your own home by committing to a time with each other. Turn off the phones and TV, grab your favorite beverage, find a quiet spot and let the kids know that they cannot interrupt unless it requires speed-dialing 9-1-1.) For more dating ideas, see 58 Years.

PEN HIM IN: Make a date for sex--no cancellations, no excuses.  This may sound a little anti-romantic but the planning and anticipation is actually very romantic and very exciting. Give your husband little reminders that you are looking forward to your date. 

v  Sext him

v  Leave love notes

v  Take a selfie for him only

v  Send him flowers

v  Start a love story, adding a paragraph and passing it back and forth

NO WORRIES:  Please don’t let insecurity about post-baby changes in your body keep you from intimacy. Over and over again, I hear the same refrain from men: Sensuality and sexuality have nothing to do with the perfect body. Looking sexy comes from within, an aura of desire, confidence and making your partner feel like the sexy one. Want to feel more sensual/make your partner feel sexy? 

v  Flirt (flit your hair, bat an eye, whisper in his ear)

v  Wear something sexy

v  Wear nothing at all

v  Dance for him

v  Play truth or dare

v  Go parking

v  30 second kisses and hugs

v  Massages, foot rubs

v  Feed each other, make a rule you can’t feed yourself.  Try it in bed.

v  Act out a fantasy

START OVER:  When we are young, sex is great with little or no thought, but as we age, sex changes. This is a two way street because men’s testosterone level begins to drop starting in their early thirties. The changes can become a great equalizer as men naturally take more time in the bedroom. So talk about sex from a fresh perspective. Be silly. Be sexy. Be wild. Experiment.

GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER ALL OVER AGAIN:  I know, we are parents.  Parents talk about kids. And money. And job security.  And household chores.   But is that really all there is to life?  (If you’re stilling trying to answer this question, the correct answer is a definitive: no!) When was the last time you really gave each other time to hear your deepest stressors, longings and dreams?  Having an intimate conversation—now, that’s romantic. Topic ideas:

v  Newest fantasy

v  Bucket list

v  Strangest dream

v  Dream vacation

v  Answer this: I never… (or) I always wanted to….

v  Describe a perfect day

v  What do you like most/least about yourself

v  A powerful childhood memory

v  Deepest worries/greatest satisfaction
v  Secret ambitions

       

Sherry Daniels is a Licensed Professional Counselor providing individual, couples and family therapy since 1994.  She serves a broad spectrum of clients at her private practice in Fenton, Michigan.    Her passion is working with couples and families.   She states: "It is possible to repair the problems that develop in a relationship. I break each problem into solvable steps. I help you sharpen the skills you have and develop the tools you need for a loving, enduring relationship."
     Sherry is an interactive, solution-focused therapist.   Her approach is to provide support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address personal life challenges.   She integrates methodologies and techniques to offer a highly personalized approach tailored to each client with an attitude of compassion and understanding.

She actively updates her skills and knowledge base with ongoing training including John Gottman Relationship Training.     Ascend Counseling Services

Essential Oils--The Top Five from "Oily Mom" aka Patti Dolan

Hello!   I am Patti Dolan, a busy mom of two boys, happily married to a wonderful husband.  I am a registered nurse and a Christian yoga instructor. I'm known as the "Oily Mom" because I'm also a  Young Living Essential Oils Independent Distributor. 

Essential oils are the essence from plants, flowers, trees, roots and seeds. Used since Biblical times, they're known for their life-enhancing, healing properties. 

I am going to share with you my FIVE favorite oils that I use for my family --these five oils have literally replace my medicine cabinet!

#1! Peppermint: I use this topically, to cool fevers (placed on temples, nape of neck, and feet). We also drink a drop of peppermint in a glass of water to relieve tummy aches!

#2! Thieves:  This is a blend of clove, lemon, cinnamon, eucalyptus, and rosemary.  My boys have this rubbed on their feet every night at bedtime for immunity protection.  We diffuse Thieves in our house in the winter and also add it to our water.  There is also a huge line of Thieves household cleaning products and personal care items (such as toothpaste).

#3!  Lavender:  I begin diffusing  lavender an hour before bedtime in each of our bedrooms to promote a relaxing environment for sleep.  (LOVE the diffuser, because it will turn off a few hours later on its own after we are all in dreamland.)  Lavender provides itch-relief from bug bites and if applied quickly, can help keep a burn from blistering.

#4!  Lemon:  Each morning, before I put anything else in my system, I drink a large glass of water with 1 or 2 drops of lemon.  Why?  Our bodies are generally acidic.   This drop of lemon in water helps alkalinize our body.  Research has shown that cancer cells can develop and grow more rapidly in an acidic environment.

#5!  Panaway:  This is a blend of wintergreen, helichrysum, clove and peppermint.  I use this for everyday muscle aches, pains, or headaches.  Soothing and cooling - Love, Love, Love it!!!

 

 

Well, these are my favorites in a nutshell. There are literally hundreds more available. 

 

From time to time Patti receives a $20 voucher.  If you're interested or you'd like more information on essential oils and Young Living, email Patti: at dpsad95@gmail.com. Check out her Facebook page.
(Please note, the publisher of this blog receives no compensation from this product.)

God Bless!!!

Patti

Feeling Emotional? Show it!

Dr. Lauri Nummenmaa,
Aalto University School of Science

 

As an emotional person, I found the following article "Study Finds Emotions Can Be Mapped to the Body" (by @ Shannon Firth), fascinating.

 

The research, published in the Proceedings of the National Academies of Sciences, was conducted by Finnish researchers in an attempt to determine if emotions cause universal physical reactions.  (A simplistic example: Do most people feel "butterflies in their stomach" when they are nervous?)

 

The study included 701 participants.   Using words, stories, movies, and expressions to illicit emotions, the participants were then asked to highlight their physical sensations on two human -shaped silhouettes. (Note: the sensations were based on a participants' "perceived physical reaction" and were not monitored or confirmed medically.) One silhouette was to be used to depict increasing sensations, the other to depict decreasing sensations.   Body parts colored red indicated the most intense sensations, yellow were strong, blue meant dulled sensations, black equated to absent sensation.  

 

 

Emotions Mapped:

ANGER     FEAR     DISGUST     HAPPINESS     SADNESS     SURPRISE      NEUTRAL

ANXIETY     LOVE      DEPRESSION      CONTEMPT     PRIDE     SHAME     ENVY

 

 

Visit Emotions Mapped to see the results.

 

Find Actual Study Here

 

Feeling Emotional?   Click here for Middle-Stage Mom's version:

              





 (For entertainment purposes only)

Winter Sun Safety

Skin Tips


Clouds do not stop dangerous ultraviolet rays.  And on sunny days, these harsh rays can reflect off concrete, water, snow and other surfaces. Like summer, winter rays are still the strongest during the middle of the day.  (If your shadow is shorter than you are, the UV rays are very strong.)

So grab the sunscreen, a hat, a good pair of sunglasses (100 % UV protection) and lip balm with SPF protection when you're outside.  SPF of 15 or higher is best.   And have you skin checked regularly by your doctor.

Understanding Sunscreen
Sun Protection Tips