Phobophobia- the fear of phobias

Do you suffer from a phobia?  Any fears at all?

I HATE flying.  In fact, I avoided it for more than a decade of my marriage.  I flew on our honeymoon.   Six flights in all, three to our destination, three home.  On the last flight, seven days into our marriage, I told my husband he was the worst person alive. I also told him I hated him.  (Yes, I did...shame...shame.) The plane was overbooked (I begged him to give up our seats.)  

We were exhausted.  More importantly, I had assumed I would die on this trip via the plane falling out of the sky.  (Gruesome, yes, but honest.)  And since this was the very last flight out of the six, I was certain that this was the ONE. In my mind, we were not going to make it home and live happily ever after as husband and wife.  

Luckily, my patient husband ignored my ranting (and sweating palms) buckled me in tight, and reminded me we'd be home in less than 45 minutes.   Chicago to Detroit is a very short flight. 

Well, twenty years later, I 'm still alive.  So, yes, we made it.  He didn't ask me to fly again for a very long time. 

I have flown since then. I still hate it.  I still think I'm going to die.  My palms are sweaty.  I don't have visible panic attacks (only on the inside), but my heart is racing the entire time, along with my thoughts.   I've made it to Florida several times, New York, San Antonia and Chicago.   Bless, his heart, now he wants to take me to Hawaii for our 20th anniversary.  Who wouldn't want to go to Hawaii?   ME. ME. ME.  Unless I can get there via molecular travel.  I hyperventilate just thinking about eight hours stuck in a small metal tube that impossibly flies miles above the ground, on some invisible marshmallowy nothingness called air.  All of my control is in the hands of some stranger siting in a closet-sized, bullet-proof space.  Sure the pilot is dressed in a deceiving suit, but his/her hat is decorated with fake wings.   I'm also not thrilled that there's some magic button that allows the plane to magically fly by itself, while he takes a sweet nap.  (No offense meant to any pilots.  I'm exaggerating, of course, but I'm calling it how my phobic mind sees it.)

So, anyway, I will eventually get there--to Hawaii, I mean.   Hopefully it will be via a plane, but I guarantee I won't be ready by next year. 

Since my goal on this blog is to improve myself, and help others do the same, I want to tackle my fear of flying.  I want to be adventurous.  I want to see Hawaii.  I want to travel abroad!
Any ideas to help me get there?  (FYI: I'm not talking about a cruise ship.)

If you suffer from a phobia, please share with us:(use scroll alongside this survey to complete)

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world's leading questionnaire tool.

As always, you can respond in the comment section or add your story to Your Words.

Go Ahead and Have a Good Cry!

 

Do you hold back tears or are you an emotional waterfall? 

Despite decades of study, little is known about tears, but there’s no doubt crying is a healthy, natural and important process. 

Did you know that humans are the only animals who shed emotional tears?

For any of you who swear your favorite pet has actually wept, those tears were either lubricating (providing moisture) or irritant (cleansing) tears.  Humans have those types of tears too.  But, only people cry when sad, grieving, frustrated, tired, even happy. 

Biochemist and “tear expert” Dr. William Frey, at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis, discovered that emotional tears contain a 24 percent higher concentration of protein than reflex tears.  Researchers have yet to determine the full significance of these proteins, but note emotional tears also contain stress hormones including adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH).  A predictor of stress, ACTH has been linked to high blood pressure, heart problems, peptic ulcers and other health issues.  Emotional tears also contain chemicals with antidepressant effects, and they stimulate the production of natural endorphins and painkillers.

Dr. Frey believes emotional tears allow us to physically release the chemicals that build up during stress.  “Crying is an excretory process, removing harmful materials or waste products.  Literally, we might be ‘crying it out.’”

Really, it doesn't take a scientist to tell us crying makes us feel better. Most women agree they feel more emotionally balanced after a good cry.  Other women use meditation, exercise or venting to a trusted friend to achieve the same emotional release.   All of these activities have been found to produce hormones, endorphins and other neurochemicals that relieve anxiety and elevate mood.

Poor men!  Studies show women cry four times more than men (on average once a week, compared to 1.4 times a month for men--although, honestly, I think I've seen my husband cry 1.4 times since we've been married!)   Hormones are likely the main reason for this discrepancy.  In adolescence, boys and girls cry about the same amount, until puberty takes over.  Crying is also a social issue.  It’s far more acceptable for a woman to cry, but men are discouraged from showing such emotion.   The protein prolactin may also be a factor.  Women have 60 percent higher levels of prolactin in their blood then men.  Another surprising fact:  men’s tear glands are smaller than women’s.

One foot in front of the other

Never Work A Day In Your Life

You’ve heard the sayings before:

Live to work: don’t work to live.

Love what you do and you’ll never work a day in your life.

Success doesn’t create happiness; happiness creates success.

Chase a dream, not a pay check.

Okay, I made the last one up.

Why?  Because my dream job is to make things up.   (I'm a writer and that includes fiction.  I really do get to make things up.)  I’m a journalist too, so don’t worry.  I’m happy to work with facts when my job requires it.

Whoa--did you see that?   I used happy and job in the same sentence.   Believe it or not, you can too!  I’m not talking about getting rich quick or work-at-home schemes.  I’m talking about honest-to-goodness hard-word, pounding the pavement every day (and sometimes every night), and just plain putting yourself out there for the business world to see.   The difference is you are putting your “true” self out there.  The self that makes you comfortable, makes you smile, makes you shine.  Make no mistake about it, when you shine you become easier to see!

If everyone on this planet had the same interests and capabilities our progress would be very limited.  It is our differences that provide value.  It is our interests that provide that drive.

So, why is work so hard? According to a quote released in an article by Forbes.com, “Some surveys have found that 87 percent of Americans don't like their jobs.”  (Sorry, no sources were cited for these surveys.)  Whether accurate or not, plenty of people can’t stand Monday morning.  Or Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings, for that matter.  Friday’s a toss-up.  That's because they've found a job, not a passion.

Well, I’m doing what I love and what I’m good at.  While I’m not a millionaire, nor will I ever be (unless I win this week’s lottery, and you’ll know it if this is my last blog); I hope I never return to the 9 to 5 scene.

How did I get here?  For the record my background includes marketing, public relations, advertising, sales and writing.  I haven’t always liked all of those tasks, but apparently I was good at what I did.   I was willing to work hard and cared about my reputation.   More importantly, I found out what I loved to do.  Even more significant, I figured out how I could make money doing what I love to do.

To find out what you're passionate about check my Passions blog!

It's Little Things

No Excuses

 

 

NOW is the time to make the changes you've always wanted.